Top 10 Days That Don’t Exist
August 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment
The popularity of the internet seems to have created random days throughout the world.
Nowadays it seems you can just make up a day, set up a basic website, Digg the site and if enough people think it’s good enough you will have a new annual day of recognition added to the internet savvy world we live in.
Just take September 19th, for example. I excitedly state to my workmates ‘Yarr, it be talk like a pirate day me’earties’, they all wonder what the heck I’m talking about, but many people online know of, and in a small way celebrate, this made up day.
Of course there are days which don’t translate too well to the internet, but do exist in the real life workplace, such as a Take Your Dog To Work Day (the Friday following Father’s day in the US) which many companies do have.
Then you have the days created in an attempt to make an impact, such as the 2007 starter Blog Action Day, and in some instances there is a whole month and not just a day dedicated to something such as the NaNoWriMo which goes on throughout November.
Whether the purpose is to be socially aware, to try and create a global following, to try and get groups of people together or just to entertain, these days do catch on in a big way. With a little viral marketing and a few years under your belt you’re sure to develop a whole cult of followers with new additions every year.
Of course, not all days would succeed. You may think of a day, but nobody else agrees that it is a good idea, or it just doesn’t catch on in some way which means it is never an annual thing followed by anyone other than you and close friends.
The following list contains days that don’t exist (as far as I’m aware) and probably wouldn’t take off if they were to be set up - for various reasons.
10 Turn off your mobile phone day
I doubt this would be a popular day, to be honest, as so many people seem to find their phone an extension to their body that they don’t want to give up. It’ll be like having a ‘don’t use your left arm day’.
Saying that, there was a time when we didn’t have them at all and we had to make do with a normal telephone. Over 56 billion text messages were sent in the UK in 2007 (up from 42 billion in 2006) - with nearly three hundred million of those being sent on New Year’s Eve. Whatever happened to people just hugging and kissing those nearby instead of reaching for the piece of plastic and sending a text to everyone in their address book. It clogs up the system and prevents real emergencies from being reported.
I would like to walk through the streets of London and see people queuing up to use the red telephone boxes; afterall, the only purpose they serve now is as a photo opportunity for tourists.
I would like to sit on the bus and not have someone near to me shouting their uninteresting news to someone on the other end.
I would like to sit in the cinema and not have the sound of a phone go off, or even the flashing of the screen as people check a message or the time.
In some way it would also be nice to see just how much the operators would lose in one day. Perhaps they would appreciate their customers more if they realised just how important we are to them. They may not take us for granted and try and grab every penny they can from us!
9 Hedgehog awareness day
More people need to be aware of hedgehogs. Afterall, apart from reading this post, when was the last time you gave just a glancing thought towards these spiky little critters?
In 2007 the humble hedgehog was voted the #1 Environmental Icon in England and Wales, and we should not let this fact disappear as quickly as the species is. With a fifth of the hedgehog population dying out every 4 years, we could have no hedgehogs in Britain by the year 2025 - which is a shame when they are a great and natural form of pest control in the garden.
These amazing little creatures also share several diseases with humans; which include liver disease, cardiovascular disease and cancer. Make sure they don’t suffer in silence and take the necessary steps to help your local hedgehogs thrive - check out the British Hedgehog Preservation Society for ways to prevent them coming to harm in your garden, and also to learn how to care about them should you find a sick one.
8 Wear a diaper to work day
Toilet breaks have often been a cause of disputes in the workplace. Some people need the toilet more than others - fact. Some people would see that as someone not working as hard as they are themselves; some people don’t care. Yet there was a famous case a couple of years ago where Ford Motor Co. cracked down on toilet breaks and started timing staff for the length they were away from the production line with penalties being enforced for repeat offenders. More recently, a UK meat company decided to stop paying staff for their breaks, as a quick trip to the loo could take ten minutes due to the amount of protective gear staff were wearing.
Why not have one day a year where this isn’t an issue to anyone by wearing a diaper to work? Surely everyone will be at their most productive if they can sit at their desk and relieve themselves without having to make a trip to the bathroom?
Nobody will feel like their colleagues aren’t pulling their weight if you can’t tell when someone is actually taking a bathroom break (except perhaps by the smell or satisfying smile on the face of someone close by), and any quick changes can be done during the regular lunch period.
7 Talk in a foreign language day
What a great way to learn a new language this would be! Well, perhaps it would be if you were speaking to someone who was responding in the language you were hoping to learn…otherwise if you’re speaking to someone in French and they are responding in Mexican you may not get the most out of it. Still, probably a very good team building excercise and a way to learn how to communicate more in the workplace - and possibly a lot of fun if you work in a call center.
If this was a real day I would most certainly go for French as that’s the language I would most like to learn. I would sidle up to someone who speaks French and just talk and talk hoping to learn a little something from it. If everyone was doing it, then you wouldn’t seem like a fool which is what happens just now when I try and learn a language.
I would need to see the guidelines created for this day to determine exactly what was and wasn’t allowed, but I also imagine it would be fun if barking or meiowing were classed as a foreign language. I would quite like to spend a day barking at people whilst gesturing wildly…top fun.
6 Panic buy Cans of Tomatoes day
I think it would be quite amusing if everyone who went to the shops bought several cans of tomatoes as if it were the last time they would be able to buy them. Of course they would quickly run out so everyone who went in afterwards would have to ask the shop assistants in a fearful way whether they had any in the back, or where else nearby they may be able to buy some, or if they would get anymore in soon. It’s not that I like to confuse people who work in the shops, only…well - I do really.
Panic buying would be possible with pretty much anything, but panic buying cans of tomatoes makes more sense than a lot of other things - such as carrots or toilet paper. They are relatively easy to store and won’t go off for ages, for a start. Plus, they make an excellent base for many meals so you would be able to make use of them over time, they are rich in vitamin A and C, and they add a splash of vibrant colour to even the most bland looking meal. You really should include tomatoes in your 5-a-day!
5 Kiss an old age pensioner day
Here’s a day with an edge, and with so many decisions to make so that you don’t get arrested. Which OAP is the best to go for, where should be to find the attractive ones, where should you kiss them, and so on? I think for this one you need to go for a quick hit…give them a quick kiss on the forehead and then run away. I doubt you could get caught but some of them do hold walking sticks and still have a bit of a reach on them.
The Post Office is probably the best place to go for. There are always lots of oldies collecting their pensions or buying a few stamps. They’re all in a row too, so if you were feeling brave you could probaby pucker up to a few of them before they even realised what was happening.
Remember though, no fondling…and no planting a surprise one on your grandad!
4 Dress like an animal day
How cool would it be to dress like your favourite animal for a day? Unless your favourite animal is a naked mole rat as they’re just ugly! Just imagine walking down the street and seeing everyone in an animal costume. There you are, standing in your Giraffe outfit, walking past Elephants, Gorillas, Penguins and a whole host of other animals.
Superb.
Also, it would be a great way to meet people. Imagine you met a girl giraffe as you were walking down the street in matching outfit. Already you know you have something in common with both liking giraffes; a lion rounds the corner and you both run away to avoid attack, taking refuge behind a bus shelter. Kinda romantic, huh?
Although, should things progress and you do manage to find a mate during this special day (and let’s face it, you’ll have the ‘what shall we do for our anniversar?’ question in the bag), do take off your outfit before doing the deed. Otherwise I understand there are a whole bunch of people like you, going by the name of furries.
3 Pretend you’re a ninja day
Let’s face it, you’re not a ninja. I’m not a ninja either, and I’m okay with that. I know I’ll never be a ninja either…not a real one. Still…where’’s the harm in pretending that I am one?
There is no harm…that’s why ‘Pretend You’re a Ninja Day’ would be so damn cool.
Of course, I’m not 100% sure what a ninja actually does, as they’re quite sneaky and seem to keep themselves to themselves. I imagine, though, that an average ninja day would be something along the following lines:
5:30 - wake up; for some reason I imagine ninjas wake up really really early to make the most of the day and do their first bit of sneaking around before normal people wake up; shower, put on ninja outfit.
5:45 - eat a hearty breakfast…like porridge. I doubt there are any Scottish ninjas, but they probably eat porridge for the slow release of energy.
6:00 - wash the breakfast pans and dishes - for to be a ninja is to be clean and clutter free.
6:15 - noon - leave the house and do ninja stuff. This will involve standing in the park watching squirrels (behind a tree though, as a ninja avoids detection at all times), standing at the pond watching ducks (behind a bin though, as a ninja avoids detection at all times), and standing on rooftops watching pigeons (the rooftop is an automatic hidey place, so the ninja can stand in the open and still avoid detection).
A ninja does not stand in the playground watching children. This is a rookie mistake and will get you arrested!
Noon - lunch. I imagine a ninja is partial to a Salade Nicoise.
1:00 - 4:00 - go see an old movie. The cinema will give excellent cloaking skills to the ninja, who in turn can practice sitting still and being quite - both top qualities of being an excellent and learned ninja.
4:00 - 7:00 - assist the public. Ninjas can perform many everyday tasks to make the community a better place. These include carrying bags for old people, walking dogs or washing cars. Though a ninja likes to be undetected, it is also important to show your worth in the community - otherwise a ninja will swiftly be seen as a vigilante.
7:00 - 8:00 - Dinner. A nice pasta dish, followed by chocolate mousse.
8:00 - wash the dinner plates.
8:30 - watch an episode of Friends, for it is important for a ninja to relax and to laugh.
9:00 - bed time, for tomorrow will be another early start, and busy day.
2 Adopt A Hobo Day
Most people sympathise with those less fortunate, and this is especially so with homeless people. It’s horrible to see someone having to sleep on the streets and go hungry, and due to the social barrier it creates it’s very often necessary to cross the street as you approach them rather than walk past and hear their cry for help.
But what can be done about it? Hobos take up so much room in the house if you invite them to stay that it’s just not a viable solution…plus there is the chance that you take home a bad one and they end up stealing all of your stuff.
Adopt a Hobo day would help you to do your bit for society and reduce the risk of having your worldly possessions robbed by these lazy layabouts.
Simply pick up a hobo on the way to work and have them sit in the office, perahps doing a little filing or making coffee for co-workers. You’ll be doing your bit for society and making the hobo feel like they are integrating once more into a normal life, giving them a sound foundation for them to re-build their life from.
After work you can take them out to dinner and learn all about their life, and where they went wrong in order to find themselves on the street. You can share any experiences from your childhood you may have in common, and learn essential tips for how to survive should you accidentally lock yourself out of the house one night.
Then after a lovely meal you can drop them off at the bus stop, or wherever it is they call home, and then depart, safe in the knowledge that they won’t know where you live, and with a happy heart at the thought of your good deed and the fact you made someone’s life a little bit better, if only for one day.
1 Bring A Celebrity To Work Day
I think it would be awesome if you could take a celebrity to work for the day - and much better than those stupid, ‘Bring your child/pet/kitchen appliance to work’ days that you usually get.
Sure, there may be a small issue with double bookings - as I’m sure more than one person would want to take Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to work with them…but it really could work if planned right.
The biggest question would be who to take?
Sure, you could go for that actress you’ve always fancied, but you must remember that you’re in the office to work and so drooling over Scarlett Johansson probably isn’t going to be the most productive day…unless you’re in a job where you need a lot of saliva. If you work as a stamp licker go right ahead and take her with you.
No, I think I would need to find someone who’s intelligent and actually quite a hard worker…which is where this plan falls on it’s face. I know nothing about celebrities, only about the characters they play in movies.
Example, Leonardo DiCaprio seemed quite intelligent and creative in Catch Me If You Can…just what we need for the accounting department….but then he was a bit out of control in The Basketball Diaires, and a little bit stupid in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape - so I cannot judge what he would be like in an office environment!
I need a hardworker…someone who will get down to the grind and slave away for the day.
Perhaps a famous slave?
Maybe I should go for Kirk Douglas? Do you think he can type?
10 pros and cons of workplace dating
March 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment
In the mid 1900’s our parents generally met each other at school. It was there that relationships were formed and dating turned to marriage. Nowadays,it appears to be the workplace where the majority of people meet, where relationships are forged, and where significant others are established.
There are exceptions, of course. If the majority of people meet at work it doesn’t mean that you will find your one and only at the water cooler, and it doesn’t mean you should lightly jump into a relationship with your receptionist. There are serious things that should be considered when you start an office romance, as dating a workmate has serious implications on all aspects of your life, and also effects those around you. There’s an old saying that comes to mind - don’t dip your pen in the company ink!
Here are 5 pros and 5 cons of workplace dating for you to consider.
Pros
1. Great place to meet
In today’s hectic work environment it can be difficult to find the time to ‘get out there’ and find a suitable partner. Quite often you need to see someone, and chat to them, a few times before you realise you wish to ask them out on a date, or before you actually gain the courage to do so - which means meeting someone at a bar or club is often a one off and leaves you little time to act. Though you may indeed meet someone during the evening a relationship at this stage is generally formed on a physical attraction rather than an actual attraction to the person within - which is why these chance, brief meetings so often end in a one night stand and little else. At work you generally become attracted to the person over time, which is more conducive to a working relationship.
2. Establish a relationship prior to dating
By working alongside someone you will get to know them as a person, and find out more about who they really are than you would in other circumstances. When you go to a party there is always the chance that the person you meet is not being themselves; that they may just be acting as a way to make themselves more attractive to the opposite sex as a peacock would by displaying his tail feathers, your potential date may be exaggerating their stories or successes in order to appear more than they really are. When you work alongside them you get an idea of who they are, how successful they are, what their aims in life may be - and you can get all of this information naturally. By finding out more about the real person, and being attracted to this person, the relationship should last longer and be more secure than if the relationship had been built on the white lies of someone wishing to be more than they really are.
Also the fact you are working for the same company shows that you already have a strong bond between each other - with the added advantage to not having to explain your job to a possible mate and have their eyes glaze over when they find out you’re an accountant.
3. Spend time with each other
Obviously if a relationship is going to last a long time, you and your partner will need to spend a lot of time with each other. Married couples can see each other every day of their lives, with a very few breaks away from each other - and being able to do this is an essential part of a happy relationship.
If you start to date someone you work with you will get the chance to spend a lot of time with them, and the chances are you had been spending this time with them prior to dating. If you see them everyday, spending 8 working hours with them and still want to date - the chances are you will have a healthy relationship, that you will enjoy spending time with each other and, unlike a lot of people, will not be searching for time away from each other which isn’t always a good indication that a relationship will last.
4. Create a happy work environment
The early stages of dating is a great time. You’re excited every time you see the person, you’re happier than you may otherwise be, and because of this you’re generally more approachable as a person.
By dating someone at work you can both lift the spirit of the office by being in this mood and giving off positive vibes. When you create a jovial environment it will often rub off on those around you, and your happy feelings will spread throughout the office making the whole workplace more enjoyable for you and your colleagues, which will in turn result in a more productive workforce.
5. Have a helping hand during those stressful times
If you have a problem at work it may seem like everything is against you and no-one is willing to help. Colleagues are often busy with their own thing and unwilling to assist, after all - it’s not their problem, it’s yours. It can be difficult to ask for help, also, when you really need just a few hours of someone’s time to meet that important deadline without going crazy.
If you are dating a workmate they will be more willing to go that extra mile for you than anyone else would. They will be willing to stay late with you, and to spare you the time that no one else would like to give you, simply due to the fact they have feelings for you and it’s natural to want to remove stress from the one you love if you can.
Of course the fact you work together probably means that they are more suited and able to help you in your work than someone who you met out of the office.
Of course, not everything about meeting your partner at work is good. several of the positive aspects can easily slip into negative ones, and there are other issues all on their own which could block you from having a meaningful relationship with a workmate.
Cons
1. Subject of Idle Gossip
If you start a relationship with someone in your office, you can be sure that other people will gossip about it. When it’s a new event you can guarantee others will be gathering around saying ‘Guess what!! X and Y are doing it!’ - it’s inevitable and unavoidable.
If possible, you should try and be open about your new relationship instead of keeping it a secret. Sneaking off together is only going to create more gossip, whereas being fully open will mean people have to deal with it, and they will quickly move on to the next subject.
2. Jealousy
Jealousy can come from a few sides.
Firstly, your co-workers may be jealous of the relationship you have, especially if it is on an employer/employee style basis of dating your boss/minion. Although you could keep it as above board as you like, having a relationship in this situation will always provoke others to feel that you or your partner are benefiting by being in that relationship, and that they are missing out on something. Let’s say you’re dating your boss - and you happen to be an excellent worker. If you get a higher bonus on your salary you can bet that others will attribute this to you dating them, and not due to your excellent efforts in the office. They will be jealous that you received something they didn’t, and will blame anything other than themselves for it.
There may also be jealousy from your loved one. This is due to the fact it’s quite natural to flirt in an office. It’s actually quite productive too, so long as you keep it informal and non abusive/discriminative. Everyone enjoys a little harmless flirting - but perhaps less so if you’re watching your new boyfriend flirting with the receptionist. Though nothing may be going on, your insecurities of entering a new relationship may indeed give way to this green eyed monster.
3. Spending too much time together
It’s great that you can spend time with your heart’s desire - but sometimes you do just need a break. Though getting to work alongside each other all day can be a positive, it can also be a huge negative. Seeing each other socially in the evenings and weekends, followed by seeing each other in a stricter environment during the day can lead to a little too much. It also may kill a little of the romance, as you miss out on the excitement of waiting to see them at the end of the day. If you see each other all the time with no breaks it can be hard to accept the little things they do that annoy you, and they just build up and up until something explodes. That’s a tremendous pressure on a new relationship.
4. Allocating objective blame
If something goes wrong at work, and it’s your fault or that of your partner - it can be difficult to remain as objective as you should be. It’s unfair to other employees if the person who did something wrong does not get the same warnings or punishments as others. It’s natural, however, to want to protect the one you love by not disciplining them as they should be. You must try and keep your personal feelings out of the business decisions that you make, and this is not always possible. By not doing this, you are creating a separation in the workplace where a rule for one person is not a rule for another - and this has really bad consequences.
5. Breaking up is hard to do
If the worst happens and your relationship comes to an end, it can be disastrous in the workplace. Breaking up is hard to do at the best of times, especially for the person who was dumped; and having to see them at work every day can be very difficult, and creates an unhappy working environment that your colleagues will be in the middle of.
Breaking up can also lead to petty rows between you - and again this has a huge negative effect on your colleagues. It will come to the stage where you and your ex could be disciplined for your lack of professionalism, or that you get to the stage where seeing each other all of the time is too much - and one of you would have to leave that workplace and try and find employment elsewhere.
Top 10 Public Etiquette Annoyances
January 1, 2008 | 3 Comments
I’m quite a patient person when it comes to most aspects of life, but there are certain things that really annoy me about people and the things that they do, usually strangers and in public.
In many instances when the below occur, I would tend to sigh inwardly and ignore them - other times if in the right mood I will say something to the person, or make a comment as they walk away.
If you are one of the people who do the below, I urge you…please stop it now!
However I’m hopeful that some, if not all, of the items in the list below will be close to your heart and near the top of your list of annoyances as well. For that I applaud you, as that means there is at least one more person out there who feels the same as I do, and do not fall into the category of being one more annoying stranger.
The Issue: 
10. Dogs and Bags on public transport
Let me be clear from the outset. I have nothing against dogs or bags on public transport. I take bags on the bus or tube all the time - not so much a dog as I don’t have one, but if I did I may also take it on transport too.
My annoyance is with the ignorance of the dog or bag owner, specifically when they take a seat and load the seat next to them with their dog/bags. Some people aren’t too bad and remove the items from the seat if someone else needs to sit. Yet time after time I see the person staring blankly ahead, ignoring all around, and using up the extra seat for their shopping or beloved pooch. If I’ve paid for my journey I expect to have a seat if there is one available. I do not expect to have to stand for someone elses belongings, or someone elses pet; the bad point about the latter is that many people don’t really want to sit in the seat even if the dog does move - what with it being muddy and/or covered in dog hairs.
How to handle:
If there are bags on the seat I would tend to just throw the words ‘excuse me’ towards the owner, and that will usually see them - grudgingly and slowly - move their bags on to their knees or the floor allowing me to sit down.
The dog is a slightly different matter. If I’m in a suit I don’t really wish to sit in the same seat the dog has taken due to the hair factor, so I will tend to stand or find another seat. I will usually sit or stand where I can see the dog and owner and make my displeasure known via staring.
If in casuals, however, I will happily sit down and so my action depends on my mood. If in a tolerant mood I will again just throw ‘excuse me’ at the owner. If in a bad mood I will turn to them and ask ‘Does this dog have a ticket for that seat?’. Sometimes this will of course depend on the size of the owner, and of the dog.
The Issue: 
9. Setting bad examples around children
How other people bring up their children is their business and not mine. I am not one to judge the parenting of others, and never shall. I also know I am no influence in how others bring up their children, but there are times when we’re all around children in public, and we should act responsibly in light of that.
As such, there are two things I will not do when in public and around children - but I see others doing them and it annoys me.
Firstly, I will not swear if I see children around. If I’m in a restaurant with friends we will happily swear in a casual conversation, though obviously not to a high degree and to offend others around. However, if there are children in the restaurant my swearing is switched off just as much as if I was at work. I’m conscious enough that there are children around and they may be able to hear me, so I will adjust accordingly.
Unfortunately others don’t do the same and will swear with happy disregard. Children are a little like parrots, and will latch on to things such as swearing, especially if they know it’s wrong, and start repeating it - which is not something I want to encourage.
Secondly, I will always adhere to the green cross code if there are children around. I’m old enough now to know how to cross a road safely and, touch wood, I’ve never had a road accident. I look both ways, listen, and cross when I feel it is safe.
If I wish to cross a road and there are children around though, I will go to the relevant crossing and wait for the lights to change before I cross. So many times I see parents with children stood at a crossing, attempting to teach them the essentials of road safety, waiting at the crossing for the lights to change, the cars to stop and then to cross over, when some stranger just barges past them and trots across the road when there’s a short gap in the traffic.
It annoys me that they do this in front of children in their formative years who are being taught how to cross the road.
This also annoys me when people do it with dogs and their owners. It’s natural for a dog to move when they see someone else move. If an owner is teaching the dog to sit at the side of the road before crossing - don’t rush out in front of them and any oncoming cars, regardless of how far away the car is. The dog will see your legs move and run out behind you - ruining whatever instruction the owners are attempting to teach.
Surely waiting one minute to cross a road will not ruin your daily schedule?
How to handle:
Unfortunately there’s not much to be done in these situations. Someone crossing the road will not be worth chasing after to try and explain your reasoning for stopping them, and someone swearing will more than likely not care that children are within earshot. In the latter case, and if I am with a friend, I will raise my voice as if in conversation with them and state ‘I hate it when people swear around children’ in the hope the offender hears me and takes it into future consideration.
The Issue: 
8. Not Washing Hands
I think the majority of men that go to the bathroom don’t wash their hands. I see this all the time when out in bars and restaurants, and it’s quite disgusting - especially if you see that person then taking a mint from the reception desk in a restaurant, or going back to meet their girlfriend in the bar and stroking her on the cheek. It takes less than two minutes to drop a bit of soap on your hands, run them under the tap and dry them…and best of all - it’s free!
I know some people do it in bars where there are toilet attendents as a way to try and escape their attention and prevent from having to give them a bit of loose change; it’s times like this I applaud the attendants who, unlike the toilet users, don’t drink their way through the night and, therefore, remember who has been to the toilet. I often hear them comment ‘ah yes, you don’t wash your hands’ to men on their second visit to the rest room which at least has the effect of making other men in there instantly wash their hands.
This annoys me most in the poker clubs I go to, I feel for obvious reasons. The same ten people sit at a table and handle the same cards and pass chips back and forth for hours and hours. It’s therefore common sense, and courteous to others, to try and keep the communal cards and chips as clean and bacteria free as is possible - which can be helped by washing your hands when you go to the toilet.
I know some people, especially professional poker players, who carry around a gel antibacterial soap so that they can clean their hands every few rounds - especially if they are going to be eating at the table. This is essential for professionals who would lose a day or two per year of being sick if they caught a cold due to the amount of bugs on their work tools.
How to handle:
The above mentioned bathroom attendant handles it well enough. If in a poker place I will wait until the person is at my table and comes back from the toilet before stating ‘I hope you washed your hands this time, because I expect most of those chips soon’ which often has the benefit of public ridicule to make them, and others at the table, wash their hands.
In restaurants I simply don’t eat any sweets from the reception desk unless they are individually wrapped.
The Issue: 
7. Not Picking Up Dog Poop
As a dog owner you have certain responsibilities. These include feeding your dog, grooming your dog, walking your dog and, yes, the often unpleasant task of cleaning up after your dog (oh, and buying a bus/train ticket if you wish for your beloved mutt to take priority over other paying passengers on public transport).
Some dog owners feel that they should be allowed to let their dog relieve themselves anywhere they like and that someone else will clean it up for them. However most of the time it just ends up being spread around as people step in it - and as you probably know from your own experience, the ’silent step’ isn’t the most pleasant thing to happen to you, and is pretty much on a par of having a bird poop on your shoulder.
I find it quite disgusting that many dog owners don’t care about something that is quite a big social responsibility on their part. It’s certainly not fair on those wonderful and responsible dog owners that do take the time to clean up after their mucky pups. It annoys me that I have to watch where I walk carefully and side step any potential messes - especially when on holiday and all I really want to do is survey the scenery and not just look down at the pavement (especially Paris - it’s a big issue there!).
I find it most frustrating when it happens in public parks though. These are places that people go to enjoy themselves, and to take their children to play. It’s not nice for the kids to be running around on the grass playing football and then suddenly trip and find themselves landing in a pile of dog poop.
How to handle:
Unless you catch the dog in the act and can approach the owner there and then, there is little you can do. Just be extra careful when out and about, keep your eye on the streets as you walk and, if in Paris, perhaps tie a couple of plastic bags to your feet.
The Issue: 
6. Parking Illegally
I don’t even drive and this one still bugs me, I think because when someone parks illegally they know that they are doing so and don’t seem to care, as if the rules that apply to the rest of society don’t apply to them. To me parking illegally falls into three categories, which are as follows:
Category One: Double Yellow Lines
A driver who parks on the double yellow lines usually does so in order to quickly rush into a shop and back out, and justifies this by stating they are only going to be 2 minutes. I don’t care if you take 2 minutes or 2 hours - you’ve still parked illegally and if you get caught doing so I hope you get fined for it. There’s a reason some places have double yellow lines, and it’s usually to do with safety. When you ignore this, you endanger the lives of others.
Category Two: Parking without paying for a ticket
Some drivers park correctly, but don’t bother buying a parking ticket which means they are in a pay zone and expect to stay there for free. I don’t see why some people feel they shouldn’t have to pay when everyone else does, and this annoys me as much as someone who decides to skip buying a ticket for the bus or train - you’re stealing and as a result, the price you and others have to pay in the future will go up due to the loss of revenue from your mindless theft.
Category Three: Parking in a restricted zone
This is why parking illegally is in my list. I hate it when someone goes to a store and parks in the disabled spot when they are perfectly healthy, and they do so out of laziness because they can’t be bothered walking a few extra steps.
Your stupidity is not a registered form of disability, and neither is your laziness unless you’re fat enough to be classed as disabled. These zones are reserved for people less able than you to use, and you really shouldn’t jump in there just because it’s a foot closer than the other space…you idiot.
How to handle:
Take pleasure when you see a traffic warden catch someone in one of the above three categories. For those parking in the disabled parking you could ask to see their disability sticker, or make exaggerated efforts to see it in the car itself. I need to be in a brave mood to confront in these circumstances but have before stood beside the car until the person returns and, when they ask why you are looking in their window, state that they are parked in the disabled spot an you were looking for their sticker. It’s rare that this would intimidate anyone into not parking there again, but you never know.
If you care enough you could buy a traffic wardens outfit and walk up and down your local streets glaring at people who contemplate parking illegally. Carry a bottle of wine in a bag in case a real traffic warden comes along, and you can tell them you’re on your way to a fancy dress party.
The Issue: 
5. Public Displays of Affection (PDA)
I don’t mind seeing people kiss in public. When you meet someone or say goodbye you of course can embrace and kiss a loved one, a little more so when you’re at a location such as an airport saying farewell to you beloved girlfriend.
However, there are certain public displays of affection that I really can’t stand, and these tend to be the new couples who are still in the exciting part of their relationship. Two instances come to mind when I think of this, the first being a couple in their late teens who were sat on a tube train doing nothing but making out with each other - surely something they could have waited to get home before doing. It’s bad enough that you have to see this when you’re on your way home to heat up a microwave meal for one, but averting your eyes does nothing when you can still hear them kissing sloppily.
The second situation was when I was in a wine bar last year, and I turned to see a mature couple, quite drunk, and from where I was I had a direct view of them both above and below the table. This was unfortunate for me as he had his hand so far up her skirt I thought he was trying out a new ventriloquist routine. Please, you’re in your fifties and though it’s great that you are still full of the spice of life, don’t do it in the middle of a wine bar for all to see.
How to handle:
Wait until you catch their eye and give the classic one line response of ‘Get a room!’. Otherwise just relocate to another seat, and as you go, think how wonderful it is that two people are in love. Ahem.
Bliiss & Bile agrees with me on this one.
The Issue: 
4. Dropping Litter
It’s the age old problem of people being lazy. It annoys me when people leave empty bottles on public transport as they get off, and it annoys me even more when I’m walking down the street and see someone cast aside a piece of paper - usually from some junk food they are eating - even though they are walking towards, or have just walked past, a trash can.
The only reason someone can have for doing this is that they are completely ignorant. They must have no concept that throwing things on to the floor is bad for the environment and quite rude for the society we live in. How difficult would it be to keep the item in your hand until you pass a bin, which is pretty much on every street corner nowadays? Are you so lazy that you can’t be bothered to carry an empty crisp packet around?
How to handle:
Pick up the litter and run after the person who dropped it, tap them on the shoulder stating ‘Excuse me, you dropped this’ and hand it back to them. They will often respond with ‘yes, it’s rubbish’ to which you can tell them all about the wonderful things that are trash cans…featured on a street corner near you.
Richard M has similar views.
The Issue: 
3. Blocking the path of others
This one gets on my nerves as many people just don’t have a clue what is happening around them, or don’t seem to care. I don’t know how many people in London lack peripheral vision, but I think it’s quite high because you can have a couple walking in front of you on a narrow path, talking to each other as they go and therefore facing each other as they walk, yet they can’t see - or choose not to see - when someone is right behind them waiting for them to make a little room so that they can get past. These are the kind of people, it seems, who would be oblivious to someone stalking them as they tend to just not notice anything going on behind them. I feel the world would be a better place if people did start paying a little more attention - especially if it enabled them to just get out of my way.
Other times when their ignorance annoys me is when they walk out of shop doors and just stand in the middle of the street as if it wasn’t going to be busy and they can’t possibly be in anyone’s way. Also, and especially so, when you are walking down the street and actually make eye contact with someone standing a little way ahead of you on the pavement, and suddenly they step out in front of you! Hello? You’ve just seen me walking towards you, you made eye contact with me, you know exactly where I am walking, but you seem to just walk out in front of me anyway. Why would you do that?
How to handle:
I’ll often scuff my shoe on the floor so it makes a noise and the person has to turn around, this is usually enough to make them move out of the way…and often makes them jump unexpectedly if they really didn’t realise you were behind them.
For those who step in your path when they saw you coming, feel free to bump straight into them - it’s obvious they want you to.
missustd has some thoughts on this too
The Issue: 
2. Not Saying Thank You
Whenever I go on holiday the first people I generally meet are taxi drivers, as when you’re in a foreign land they are the best way to get from the airport to the hotel quickly and easily. I’ll be the first to admit that I am ignorant when it comes to other languages. I’ve recently been to France, Belgium and the Czech Republic without being able to speak the individual languages. Luckily a lot of people at these destinations have taken the time to learn English, especially the taxi drivers. So my first question is often to ask them how I can say Hello, Goodbye, Please and Thank You in their native tongue. I feel it helps to fit in a little more when I can at least attempt to say the pleasantries.
Why, then, is it so difficult for people who live in the same town as me to say ‘thank you’ when the situation warrants it…or even just ‘thanks’? You hold a shop door open for someone and they just glide on by as if you were just a doorstop. You stop in the street and press yourself up against a wall when there isn’t really enough room for two people, and they don’t even cast you a glance, as if you were actually a drainpipe or some other feature of the wall itself.
How difficult is it to express these two words, or perhaps just an acknowledging smile, when someone goes out of their way for you? This is especially so if you are in a bad mood, as I’m sure some scientists somewhere have actually researched politeness and no doubt come up with a theory that smiling more and saying thank you to a stranger will brighten up both of your days. I know my mood is lighter whenever someone thanks me for a little gesture I make, or when I connect a little bit to a complete stranger and thank them for actually just noticing I exist and that we have interacted.
Try it yourself.
How to handle:
The response to this is a simple one. Simply proclaim ‘You’re welcome!’ loudly in their direction as if they had said thank you, only do it in a slightly snarly, sarcastic tone.
This also bothers ddean
The Issue:
1. Cinema Etiquette
My number one annoyance is when it comes to going to the cinema, and how people nowadays do not seem to care that they are at a public screening and they should take into account the fact that other people are attempting to enjoy a film…and this one seems to be getting worse and worse.
I recently had a conversation with a friend; she likes to go to a full cinema and watch a film with many other people who are all enjoying the same experience; I prefer to go and see a movie on the big screen when the cinema is nearly empty and I can enjoy it with a low number of people which thereby reduces the chance of having ignorant people there too.
The amount of people that talk during a film at the cinema astounds me. I don’t see why people can’t seem to sit down for 2 hours nowadays without having to talk to their friend. You’ll have time to talk to them after the film is over - you can surely wait for the performance to finish? If your friend is leaving on a plane to Australia straight after the film and the next 2 hours is your last chance to talk in person - what on earth are you doing at the cinema?
The second annoyance is, of course, mobile/cell phones. There are advertisements at the start of the movie asking you to switch these devices off. Are you so oblivious to advertising that you don’t think it applies to you? Obviously you’re more important than anyone else in the cinema, as your phone has gone off. What’s more is that you’ve decided you have to take the call!! (Insert silent scream here.)
Surely this call can wait…no? If you’re expecting news of your wife giving birth, or the fact that you’ve won a million dollar contract with that client then I reiterate what I state above - what on earth are you doing at the cinema?
I was watching a film earlier this year when a guy two seats to the right of me actually pulled out his Playstation Portable and started playing a game mid way through the film. The sound was off, I’ll thank him for that little luxury, but the fact is they do have quite bright screens and moving images so anyone that has him and the PSP in their peripheral vision would be distracted by this. I’m actually lucky that he was only two seats to the right of me as this allowed me to tell him to switch it off and watch the film…which I wouldn’t have been able to do so easily if he had been a few rows in front of me.
I blame the fact televisions at home are getting bigger and cheaper. More people can afford a 42″ television nowadays, and so going to the cinema to see a film on the big screen isn’t as much a treat today as it was 15 years ago. When people had 14″ televisions the fact they could see a film on a huge screen was a novelty, and something people could sit and look at in awe. Now, it’s just a way to see a film before it’s out on DVD. Being able to watch it at home on a 42″ surround sound system is almost as good - so going to the cinema isn’t an experience anymore, and because of this a lot of people tend to treat the cinema as they would their living rooms.
This, I feel, is a real pity.
How to handle:
I will glare at someone where possible, and will happily turn in my seat to do so if they are behind me. If they are within leaning distance I will ask them to be quiet, as was the case with PSP boy above.
If they’re too far away it’s pretty pointless shouting at them from across the cinema, as this would tend to make the noise levels worse. You can only hope someone close to the offender is of the same opinions as yourself and that they will have words with them.
As mentioned above, I prefer cinemas that are not busy, so I will make attempts to see a film close to the end of it’s run at the cinema, and at times when a lot of people will not be there.
personalway and aworan are also bothered by this.
