5 Superhero powers I wish I possessed

Wouldn’t it be great if we all had a super power!

Imagine how the world would be if you could do fly like Superman, change the weather like Storm, or stretch your body like Mr Fantastic.

More to the point, imagine how cool it would be to have a secret underground headquarters!

Yes, the world may turn into something resembling The X-Men, or Heroes…but we would get used to that with time and I’m sure everyone will eventually just be able to live in harmony with each other. There would be a day, sometime in the future, that a person would just envy the power of another person in the same way they may envy the personal traits people have nowadays.

Okay, maybe not – but I stand by the fact it would be cool…and I may still go ahead and design myself a costume. Just in case.

Superhero

Alert-Insomnia
The ability to stay awake as long as I want, without feeling fatigued or having the lack of sleep affect my mental performance in any way.

This would be an amazing ability to have. No longer would you be sitting at the PC, heavily absorbed in something and making progress on a project when you suddenly realise it’s 1am and you have work the next morning so really should go to bed.

With this power I could stay awake all night if I wanted to, and still be fresh as a daisy the next day. I could sit up and play poker during those times when all of the drunk Americans are online and splashing their cash around. I could sit up and watch the whole season of Lost or 24 without having to turn the DVD off at the cliffhanger episode ending just to retire to the comfort of my bed.

I would get so much more done if I had this ability, that my life is bound to be more fulfilling.

Of course, there is a downside to this. How great is sleep? It’s actually quite a wonderful thing when you snuggle up in bed at the end of a long day and drift into that lovely unconscious state. Even better when you wake up at 5am on a Saturday morning, turn over with a little stretch and then just drink back into sleep, safe in the knowledge the alarm isn’t going to go off in the next few hours to violently awaken you from you slumber and push you back into the depths of working life.

Invisibility
The ability to prevent others from seeing you.

I’ll skip over the cliches of slipping into a women’s dressing room and jump straight into why this would be a cool superhero power to have.

With this ability you would be able to view life in a natural way. You know how someone acts when they don’t realise you’re watching? The whole world would be like this if you could watch them while invisible. It would allow you to gain amazing insight into other cultures, it would allow you to watch different species of wildlife in their natural environment without them being cautious, or threatened, by your presence. What an opportunity this power could bring to you!

Of course, there would be people who would just use this ability to spy on people, to gain free entry into different events and to act like complete perverts or theives. I like to think if I had this ability, though, that I would use it for the greater good.

This ability is shared by The Invisible Woman, Sebastian Caine, and Claude Rains

Stretchiness
The ability to stretch your limbs and contort your body in ways that aren’t natural.

Lost the TV remote? Who cares! You don’t need to get up to change the channel if you have stretchy arms – you can just reach out and turn it over from the comfort of the armchair. You can stroke the cat, turn the light off and close that draughty door while you’re at it.

Tying your shoelaces will be a doddle, as would rescuing a cat out of a tree. Playing ‘tag’ as a child would be the easiest thing in the world…and you would make one of the best goal keepers or basketball players in the world!

Downsides? I think that if you had the ability to stretch abnormally then you would probably start to get in the way of things. It’s all very well stretching across the road to post a letter, but what if a car suddenly came around the corner? Or perhaps you are giving your loved one a final kiss goodbye through a train window when your tie gets caught…you’ll be stretched from London to Brighton by the time you manage to get it untangled and that can’t be a good thing – you’ve seen how a tape measure recoils when freed – imagine if you did that!

Still…you would be impressive to the ladies.

This ability is shared by Mr Fantastic, The Elongated Man and Eugene Tooms.

Telepathy
The ability to read the thoughts of others.

I don’t want this ability if I can’t control it. I would hate to walk down Oxford Street and have to listen to the thoughts of everyone I walked past…it would drive a person crazy, I’m sure.

However, the ability to selectively know what a person was thinking would obviously have huge advantages in life.

No longer would you spend Christmas Eve trawling the shops desparately trying to find a gift that will suffice for your loved one…you’ll know well in advance what they are hoping for and can make your purcahse accordingly.

You would never be short of money. Just turn up somewhere for a game of poker and you’re bound to make the right decisions needed to walk away with bagfuls of cash.

Of course going through life knowing what other people think isn’t all good. Sure, you’ll make good decisions, and you’ll know if that girl in the bar likes you…but you’ll also find out what people really think of you, and what parts of you really annoy them. To start with this will be a little shock, but eventually these little things will build up and become quite obsessive to you. I’m sure you would end up pushing loved ones away due to tiny things that they hate about you.

It’s all very well being rich, and one step ahead of others – but what good is that if you’re lonely and paranoid?

This power is shared by Emma Frost and Nick Marshall

Teleportation
The ability to move from one location to another, instantaneously.

Think of what this ability could do for you! You wouldn’t need to spend hours commuting anymore…you can leave your home at the last minute and still get to your destination on time. Had a nice evening out and about to face a long walk home in the rain? Not if you could just teleport there!

Fancy a holiday in Australia but don’t want to spend a day on a plane? No problem, jump on board the teleportation-express and you’ll be there in a jiffy.

This ability would be the best thing ever! You would save so much time and money, which would allow you to be more productive and happier in life that there are simply no downsides.

Unless you teleported in front of an oncoming car…of course.

There’s a film out called ‘Jumper‘ just now which covers this ability, and in the film they are only allowed to teleport to a location where they have previously been. So you would need to actually go to Australia normally before you’re able to go there again via teleportation.

That would suck a littel. I would much rather be able to select a desination and go there.

Anyone fancy a take away Chinese meal tonight? I promise it’ll be very authentic!

This ability is shared by Nightcrawler and Misfit

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