Everyone makes that extra effort to make themselves look beautiful when you first start dating. Afterall, you want to make a good impression, you want to attract the person you’re dating, and you also want to make sure you feel confident – which is much easier when you feel beautiful.
I accept that there are many regimes that people go through in order to aid this, but there are definitely things that go on behind closed bathroom doors that I would prefer not to know about. I know some women do the following things, and I appreciate the effort that’s put into making yourself more attractive…but I would really like to pretend that you’re beautiful without knowing what you go through to get the end result.
Here are 5 beauty products I would rather not know you were using…but sometimes am quite thankful that you are.
5. Fake Tan
I find nothing unattractive about women with pale skin; especially as the only possible tan I could get is from the glare of my PC monitor. If however I’m going to date a woman that is tanned, I would prefer to believe that the tan is a natural one. I don’t mind if there are parts of the skin that remain white due to sunbathing in a bikini, that’s completely fine, but I would like it if you didn’t give the effect of having spent two weeks on a sunny beach when all you have done is wiped yourself down with a bottle of some strange substance….especially if that substance may rub off on me when we’re in the middle of something hot and sweaty.
I know some of you also hate to use the bottled stuff so instead of a spray tan you go onto a sunbed…but I don’t want to know this either. I still want to have the illusion that you have been away somewhere exotic and your looks are natural…or as natural as burning your skin can look.
Even if you’ve been to Cornwall for a two week vacation…just pretend it was a really sunny place to go and it was okay to sunbathe in the nude. Thanks.
4. Silicone Bra Insert
This is one product I really don’t understand. I understand why women wear backless bras with certain dresses, and even why they would wear push-up bras, but actually using an insert to pretend they have something more than they do just seems odd to me. I get that women have different sized breasts, and that’s okay. I also get that women may gain confidence if they appear to be bigger than they are. I do not, however, understand why they think these things are a good idea when going out on dates.
I went shopping with a friend once and she wanted to buy some of these, and they really do look like a bag of chicken that you’re about to put in the microwave. If I go on a date and things go well, imagine how awkward it would be if we went back to my apartment and you had to go through the embarassment of telling me that you’ve actually got something in your bra other than what it appears…and no, I can’t stick it in the microwave for a mid-session snack.
Why not just be who you are from the start. If I don’t like you for your breast size then it’s not your loss…you should find a man who respects the fact you’re not as well developed as some other women.
Think of it this way…how would you feel if I stuffed something down my trousers and you later find out the jumbo hotdog you ordered was in fact a chipolata?
Hair removal is natural…we all do it. I shave, pull the occassional hair from my nostril, participate in topiary every now and then…that sort of thing.
I know that you do it too. I know that you probably had a bath before our date and so shaved your legs and armpits. You possibly plucked your eyebrows and bleached your moustache.
I’m grateful for that.
However, I hate the idea of your having waxed. I can handle the shaving, the plucking and even the bleaching; yet sticking hot wax on your bikini regions and ripping out the hairs makes me wince (though probably less than it makes you wince while doing it).
I would prefer to think that you are naturally trimmed. I like to think that a woman’s body has natural areas where hair just doesn’t grow.
I do not wish to hear about your ordeals of doing this, I do not wish to watch you do this, and I do not wish to see a small strips of paper in the bathroom wastebin that has little bits of hairy wax stuck to it, thank you.
2. Ped Eggs
It’s summer, you’re looking lovely in that dress with matching sandals. Your feet look silky smooth as well, not like the callous, dry, dead skin looking feet that surround us. Do you walk anywhere or do you float on air wherever you go?
You use a Ped Egg you say? What’s that?
For those who don’t know, a Ped Egg is a little device that files the dead skin and calluses from your feet, handily storing anything it files inside the egg for future inspection prior to disposal.
Think a cheese grater for your feet.
Seriously…check this out – and just listen to that lovely scratching sound of feet being filed:
This product, regardless of how disgusting it may appear, is getting great reviews. Going by Mo Rocca’s experience though I would certainly refrain from buying via the telephone sales route, and get it from Shopping Television, or Amazon (who have it located under kitchen and dining).
Not to be confused with a cheese grater!
As the tag line suggests, ‘Betty’ is a color dye for pubic hair.
I’m not a prude, and I don’t mind if you colour your hair – that’s fine. As with other things though, there are times when I just don’t need to know about it. If it looks natural then I’ll just go ahead and assume that it is. If you happen to have a different hair colour on top, I’ll just assume whatever is below is natural.
I don’t wish to see a bottle of Betty in your bathroom cabinet, thank you. This can be locked away with your fake tan spray.
I don’t know why this product should differ from normal hair colouring products…and can only assume that it does in some way or other. I don’t much care, neither. Is there seriously a need though?
Why can’t we go gray gracfully?
Please also explain to me why anyone who is self conscious enough to wish to dye their ‘hair down there’ would go out and buy the ‘fun’ version (shocking pink), or the ‘lucky St Patrick’ version (leprechaun green with a clover stencil!!!)?